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Streetproof your children: Rules to keep young people safe 0 Ten percent of Canadian families will be confronted by sexual abuse. ' One out of every three females will be sexually molested before age 18. ' One out ofevery 10 boys will be sexually molested before age 18. ' More than 85% of abusers are known to the victim. Most parents want to educate their children about sexual abuse, but they don‘t know hmv. These guidelines will help parents to teach their children how to keep safe. Remember. you can’t tell a child too much; knowledge doesn‘t stimulate inappropriate behaviour A ignorance does. Parents who talk openly with their children will be “askablc” parents, and children will feel free to bring their worries and concerns to them in the future. 1. An unattended child is a child at risk. Arrange with your child an alternative place to wait if you are delayed. especially iti the darker winter evenings. Sug- gest a welHit store or inside an arena or school. 2. Always, where possible. have children walk in pairs or groups. 3. Children should always travel the same way home. 4. Use a secret family code. Children should never go with anyone. not eren a close family friend. unless theyare able togiiethechild the code. Once the code has been used. it should be changed. Don‘t allow your young child to go to a public washroom unattended. 6. Check your babysitter's credentials thoroughly. In your absence, they are guar- dians ofa priceless treasure. 7. Tell your child it is not rude to ignore an adult who is asking directions on the street. Another adult could or IO. 11. be asked for more accurate directions. Tackle the subject of sexual abuse prevention with the same honest, matter-ofâ€"fact manner you would attach to road safety. Remember, the only time a child will ask you about sexual abuse is after it has happened. Open the sub- ject and your child will remember that you are askable. introduce your child to the “Hot and Cold" game. Describe a situation which is “cool” - “imagine you are walking home from a friend‘s house..." then make it “tepid” â€" “you hear footsteps and think someone is following you. . Request the child to make the situation “cool” again and suggest that it would be appropriate to cross the street. Now make the situation warmer by in- dicaling that the footsteps also haie crossed the street. Suggest that the child cross back again, and explain that if the footsteps cross the street fora second time, then the situation is “hot”. Ask for ways to "cool" down the situation. You might help with ideas such as going in- to a lighted storc. going into a neighbour‘s house, looking quickly for a Block Parent, or because it is a "hot" situation. they might yell “fire” which will bring a quicker response than "help". Discuss with your child the difference between fact and fancy. fact and fiction so that they may understand the nature of taking, an oath, (This may be necessary for a court appearance). If you suspect that an abuse has taken place: - DO encourage the child to talk about it. - DO establish in the chiltl‘s mind that he/she is no: to blame. I DO NOT correct Child‘s story; listen to original words, even it: which are babyish family words. 0 DO NOT suggest modify what the chit trying to say. Your 1 might confuse the in ' DO NOT SHOW hi,- or anger; however caught by surprise unable to control emotions. be clear your anger is meant the offender, not child. 12. When you are aware U incident of sexual abuse the police or the t welfare authorities mediately. Ensure th. social worker. a polict ficer and someone sup live to the child is pit when the evidence is g. This information is production of: Visea-vis National Clearinghouse on Family Violence Health and Welfare Canada KIA IBS Citizens Concerned with Crime Against Children Box 1715. Station "C" Kitchener, Ontario or Box 1737, Station "A" London, Ontario N6A 5H9 .m he »e 'l' .W