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HE 'GRACIOUS. CLUB IWOMAN â€"â€" \Vc arrived too early for the banquet, while the President W35 5"“ busy “'1 the kitchen. Other guests straggletl in â€" visitors front other Institutes, a pressman with a camera. a woman who was going to sing: and we sat in a corner of the room trying to make conversation but feeling rather strange with each other. Then a woman we had never seen before, saw the strangers oil in the corner. left her basket of food in the kitchen and came back to welcome us like long-lost relatives. She was not the appointed social hostess of the organization, just a friendly woman with a natiw: sense of hos- pitality. She found a place for the pressntan to put his equipment. She asked if the piano was in the right 5170t for [he Singfl- She took us to her house down the street to freshen up after our journey. And suddenly we felt at home. relaxed and ready to enjoy the evening. In women's clubs we hear a good deal about the dynamic speaker, the good organizer. the efficient chairman. Something that may mean more than any of these is the quality of gracious- ness. It makes people feel good; it puts a warmth in the atmosphere: it eases tensions; some of it is sure to rub off on rude or touchy members if there are any about. i have seen timid women working with a gracious leader grow and blossom and .trcotnplish the impossible. I have seen a woman with the sympathetic understanding we call tart restore tt humiliatth one to .suli respect, make a breach of etiquette nothing to worry about. take an idea that might s‘t‘t'nl trivial and turn it into something important. The grttt‘itlus person knows how to "huiltl people up" and don't we all need it sometimes? The gift of graciousness â€" or perhap's it's an attomplishtnent rather than ,1 gift is the first requisite in introducing a speaker. thanking .2 speaker, extending "tonrtesit-s” .1! the time of an event. introducing a speaker. the gracious club woman knows that she has just one job to do to make the audience eager to hear the speaker and to make lite speaker eager to spunk, or .II lettsl tolerably pleased with the prospect. She puts the spotlight on the speaker .tnd is. tarelul to keep out of it herself. The opposite of this is nMrs. (ilih," \‘ery assured. very tonstitnn‘ of her- self. Introducing a. speaker who is to give a talk on Switletland. she ntar say: "i know what a treat is in. store for us! because on our trip to Europe last year my husband and I enjoyed Switzerland more than any other country. i am sure Mr. Blilt‘lb‘lfi camera caught the glow of the sun going down behind the snow-capped mountains. the roads- spiralling up and up . . and so on. Perhaps this is not what Mr. Blank intends to talk about at all; and perhaps after what Mrs. Glib has said the audience will be disappointed at missing phones of the sunsets and the winding roads. Anyway Mrs. Glib had not been asked to make a streeth herself W lost to set the stage for the speaker of the day. And she would have done this more effectively if she had said nothing about her trip to Europe. but had t'ontenttated on the tluh's good fortune in having Mr. Blank to speak to them. She might have told something about the breadth of his expenl ence. the specific purpose of his travels. any hooks he had written or films he had made, any- thing that would contribute to the impression of an interesting petsomlity. Among many observations of graciousness in club women, I remember a banquet where the entertainers were blind musicians. From the minute they arrived .tt the banquet hall there were women ready to be their guides and friends. serving them at the table. arrzlneiun 9‘ l‘lflW f‘l" them to rest in the wings of the stage so they wouldn’t hau- to stumble up lhc steps when their numbers were called. I have another unforgettable picture. At an institute meeting in a northerly settlement years 330, the program had ended and the Women were putting food'on the table when the door wasl cautiously opened and a woman with four rhildren stood outs-cit. “In “Us I'll'll‘lll' ‘l"']'“ and obviously hungry. Perhaps some of the Institute members knew them: anvN'Y “it? i"f'.ll"‘ lime in bringing them in. being as friendly and casual as if there was nothing unusual Ill .Irrtittng m [his hm". m, in being so hungry lh;ll [and Lliwppwrml its last as.” (mild ht- Iirttnglht to It titlnt‘, A considerable part of the signifitante of a Illll‘. MI" ‘t‘rl-“r'il ”" |"""“ """“"' ' “M” m of all on the graciousan of its members, INTER I965